Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Mini-Review: Mega 2: Baja Blood

During my last trip, in lieu of my usual Greig Beck and/or Jeremy Robinson ebook of explosions, lost species, and special teams adventures, I decided to dive into the very silly sequel to Mega by Jake Bible.  I definitely took the first one too seriously, so as the author explains, take this with a giant, megalodon-sized bite of suspension of disbelief.


Basically, the Mega series is a Syfy Original Movie in book form, and the author admits as much.  I admit to watching the so-bad-they're-oddly-watchable Syfy Originals with my dad (who has probably seen all of them ever).  I actually enjoyed Baja Blood a lot more than its predecessor simply because it was silly and over-the-top and really the perfect book to help me disengage from reality.

I mean, when the premise of the book is "genetically modified super-sharks get hopped up on cocaine and rampage through Baja" ... you can't take it seriously.  High sharks, man.

The more I read, the more I realize that Bible has a knack for silly banter between his characters, especially the pot-smoking, crack-shot brothers Max and Shane Thorne.  They get high as kites and only shoot better.

So, basic rundown is that an ex-military guy has recruited a brilliant scientist, Dr. Morgenstern,  to create vehicles disguised as whales, complete with whale skin and blubbery texture, to transport SEALs covertly.  EXCEPT that's not the actual purpose of the vehicles.  Turns out that they're actually drug mules (whales?) commissioned by one of the biggest cartels in Mexico.  Espinoza, leader of the cartel, shows up at the research station and commands the three ex-SEALs testing the devices to transport an unholy amount of cocaine to a waiting vessel in U.S. waters.  If they refuse, the cartels will slowly, painfully kill everyone they love.  So they launch ...

... right into the path of three cloned, genetically-modified megalodons, who see some delicious whale snacks and decide to take a bite.  Naturally, this spills the cocaine into the water and you now have giant killer sharks that are high.

To hunt down the sharks, Ballantine, mysterious "company" man, lover of Saxon literature, and owner of the Beowulf III, a super-charged "research" vessel, re-assembles Team Grendel to hunt down the clones of the big shark they killed on their last mission.  The team members are actually a lot of fun, and having the usually serious Captain Darren trip balls during the entire mission was pretty hysterical.

As you've figured out, this is total brain candy.  It's silly and totally scientifically inaccurate and completely unapologetic about all of it.  It's just what I needed to get through the week.




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