I think most women would pay a rather large amount of money for underpants that stayed in place as well as Red Sonja's chainmail bikini bottoms do. For all of the jumping, kicking, rolling, and hacking going on, it does not budge.
But just as creep-free underwear are impossible, so is the rest of Red Sonja's getup. I liked her in Gail Simone's comics--she was brash, drunk, and crude. There were a lot of sly winks at the ridiculousness of the character's appearance, while she still wore the bikini and had the boobs. Red Sonja became somehow subversive and I fell, rather surprisingly, in love with her.
But here, Simone's run has ended, and we go back to a Red Sonja who doesn't say much except, "CIMMERIAN!" or "HARR!" Unless her breasts are made of air, I can assure you that she would be having serious back issues hauling them around, especially with the absolutely-no-support-no-none of a triangle top. Trust me: this hurts. A lot. I am in no way near the Red Sonja looks department, but getting dressed everyday requires what amounts to chest armor.
Conan the Barbarian fares equally poorly in the looks department. I didn't realize that drawing Conan was akin to drawing a Neanderthal. His heavy brow and DIY haircut are not getting any votes from me. Plus, he has three times the muscles of any actual human, although, thankfully, the artist did not go for a 90s superhero look, where it basically looked as though all superheroes had head-to-toe goiters.
There also isn't a plot to Red Sonja/Conan, and I could have forgiven the goofy looks of the main characters had the dialogue been sharper or the plot been ... there. Basically, they become co-generals of this dude's army and go fight an evil herbalist sorcerer who looks kind of like Jafar, but without the hat, and chop people into tiny bits. Alternatively, had they a Holy Hand Grenade, they could have blown them into tiny bits, but Holy Hand Grenades hadn't been invented in Barbarian Times.
I guess if you've been reading Conan and/or Red Sonja for ages, you may appreciate this return to the most basic of sword-and-sorcery stories. Otherwise, it's entirely skippable.
I received an ARC of this from NetGalley.