Thursday, August 20, 2015

Throwback Thursday: The Postcard Killers

And now, a review of the human book factory (actually, it's more like, "Here's an idea for a book, now you write it, minion, and I'll roll in my piles of money!") James Patterson's "work."




Up until this point, I had read two and a half books by Patterson (in his adult range). The half book so disgusted me that I gave up. All three of them were Alex Cross books, and I think that was a major reason why I didn't really like his books--his writing of an African-American detective was so very bizarre that it made me uncomfortable. Plus, I believe that Patterson clearly wins the "Author of the Creepiest, Most Disturbing, and Downright Disgusting Sexytimes" award. Like, ever. I would not want to psychoanalyze this guy. 

I really couldn't explain (coherently, at least) why I decided to give this one a try. Perhaps it's that I've read quite a lot of late 18th century fiction lately. Perhaps I felt like giving the guy another chance. Perhaps I was intrigued by the partnership with Marklund, who writes Swedish thrillers (according to the back cover). Perhaps I laughed so hard at the silly label on the front "The Scariest Vacation Thriller Ever!" that I had to see what happened, exactly. 

Actually, it isn't half bad (I give most of the credit to Marklund, who seems to have tempered Patterson's peculiar brand of crazy). We were only subjected to two gross-out sexytimes, and those weren't half as bad as the ones in the previous books. The storyline is interesting, too. Two killers (titular) stalk and then brutally murder newlyweds by slashing their throats, leaving a trail of grisly, posed crime scenes across Europe. Jacob Kanon, NYPD, whose daughter was among the victims, also stalks them across Europe, not bathing and generally behaving like a massive jerk and stereotypical American abroad. *Shudder* Inexplicably, he interests the latest recipient of the killers' postcards, a Swedish journalist named Dessie. From this point on it's pretty much a "two very different people must band together to save innocent lives from the depraved villain" story, with a gross sexytime thrown in there. Ew. The dénouement was very ... strange, rather hastily cobbled together. Because things are going on in Sweden, yes, there is an Ikea involved. *thumbs up*

I guess the only reason I gave this two stars instead of one was the Swedish settings ... which is a totally bizarre reason, I know. But the names and places reminded me of my beloved Stieg Larsson. Except here we have no butt-kicking female, nor an interesting male lead. Our male lead, Jacob, is mostly memorable for the fact the he seems to abhor bathing (?!?!?!!). An amusing read, in a way. I'll probably seek out more of Marklund's stuff. 


Author's note: I did not.  I have better things to do with my life.

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