Rat Queens Vol. 1: Sass and Sorcery

Betty.  Dee.  Hannah.  Violet.  No, it's not the cast of Girls, you hipster weirdo.  It's the butt-kicking, booze-swilling, boundary-smashing Rat Queens, and they're out to party hard and slay some monsters.

The town of Palisade is really, really, really fed up with all of the warrior-for-hire types getting into all-out brawls in the local taverns and giving the local window-pane-repair dude a heck of a lot of work.  Sawyer, head of the guard, sends each group of hooligans on a quest to deal with the usual irritants: goblins, undead, bandits.  Hopefully, they'll expend all that wild energy on attacking enemies of Palisade instead of destroying the city bar by bar.

But this is not your standard fantasy quest comic.  No way.  The Rat Queens are made up of:

  • Betty the smidgen, who loves her drugs
  • Dee, the atheist ex-acolyte of N'Rygoth
  • Hannah, the hotheaded elven mage with a serious hairstyle
  • Violet, the dwarven brawler
As it turns out, their first quest doesn't involve goblins at all.  Instead, a dark, shadowy fellow attempts to kill them, but is instead himself taken out by rather unconventional means.  After completing their quest (wherein "completion" means not dying), the Queens find members of other gangs fighting for their lives against the same sort of assassin.  After a night of serious drinking, the Queens decide to go after the person they think set them up: the Mayor.

Okay, so maybe it's not the Mayor.  Maybe it's Old Lady Bernadette, who is only thirty-nine.  

I'm thirty-seven--I'm not OLD!
But then a much bigger (hee hee) threat appears at the walls of Palisade: a titanic troll seeks vengeance on the Rat Queens, and it's an all-out, no-holds-barred bloodbath interspersed with coarse language (gasp!) and witty repartee.  And then more drinking.

Rat Queens isn't so much about the story as it is the utterly brilliant and hilarious execution.  Kurt Wiebe writes a super-feminist comic about kick-butt ladies with foul mouths and even fouler ... well, their mouths are pretty dang foul.  And thats probably what I liked the most about this book: Wiebe is some sort of maestro at stringing cuss words together to create something utterly bizarre and silly and just plain funny.  On that note, a little teaser ...

The Obsidian Darkness, a group of goth elves, arrives and announces, "Greetings!  The Obsidian Darkness has arrived ... to clean your excrement hole"

"You put an arrow in my favorite boob!"  (I so need to figure out how to use this in real life without actually having an arrow in my boob).

"She punched me in the face, then in my boob, then did the weirdest turkey victory dance I've ever seen."  More boobs!


Gary won't shut up, as evinced by the numerous people who just tell him to "Shut the f*ck up, Gary!" 

Gary eventually shuts up.

This is one you have to read to believe.  Then read it again because it's so bloody good.  I mean, where else are you gonna find Dave the Orc with bluebirds living in his beard getting it on with a dwarf who shaved her beard off.

That's what I thought.


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