Thursday, May 28, 2015

Quick Review: The Woods Vol. 1: The Arrow

My neck hurts a lot today, and I'm not sure why.  This may add to my cranky apathy about reviewing.  Right now I wish I could just go, "Ehhhhhhhhhhhh" and be done with it.  But I suppose I should justify my "Ehhhhhhhhhh" feelings.

I am rather curious as to why Tynion specified that the school that gets woo-woo transported through space and time is in Milwaukee.  I think he was going for a "small-town high school feel" and someone said, "Hey, set it in Wisconsin!  They have cows!" and Tynion said, "Uh, Wisconsin.  Sure.  Milwaukee, I've heard of that city.  Let's do Milwaukee, everyone!"  And oh, you think you're so cute for mentioning Marquette University High School.  *headpat*

Note: I don't live in Milwaukee, but I went to school there and I go to the mall there and my great-aunties live there and that's where you get the best custard sundae ever, at Leon's on 27th and Oklahoma.

If the Milwaukee setting is where all this "small-town" chit-chat is coming from, it's not accurate.  Iron Mountain, yes.  Milwaukee, no.

Nitpicking the setting may seem a tad excessive, but once once puzzle piece doesn't fit, it throws off the rest of the picture.

So, just your typical day with your typical cliques and typical fictional incompetent principal (this is necessary in fiction.  Props to all the awesome admins out there!) and typical spats and typical everything.  Then *insert large noise* and ta-da!  The school has been transported to (dun dun DUN!) another planet.

Well, actually, as one student points out, it's technically a moon, because it's orbiting a gas giant.  Just not one of our solar systems gas giants.

The quiet, nerdy guy suddenly develops a Messiah Complex and tells everyone "I KNOW WHAT TO DO!  I KNOW EVERYTHING!" which just made me want to dropkick him off the page.  He gathers up a posse of sycophants to go outside and follow The Arrow, which is just a big glowy rock that's sort of angular and is therefore a Mystical Arrow of Meaning.

But it's not safe inside, either.  Apart for the wild creatures that bust through windows and eat people, there's a coup, then a counter-coup, and lots of abuse of power.

The most I can say about The Woods is that stuff happened in it.  I wasn't invested enough in the characters, setting, or what was being passed off as plot to really care about what kind of stuff was happening.  I won't be returning to this series.


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