Monday, April 20, 2015

Black Widow Vol. 1: The Finely Woven zzzzz SORRY Thread

Did I miss something?  I must have missed something.  Right?  Right???

The majority of readers are skipping about, going "Oh my Avengers!  This is AMAAAAZING!  I LOOOOOVE it!  Yay Black Widow comic!"


Well, okay, I agree with the last part.  The one good thing I can say about this book is that I didn't once say to myself, "Dang, someone got a little too enthusiastic when drawing Black Widow's figure."  She looks, of course, superhumanly fit, but it's not like her breasts have enough buoyancy to double as life preservers.  Natasha has this kind of angle-y muscle-y thing going on, which is a style you often see in comics featuring male superheroes.  I liked that.

Unfortunately, that was all I liked.


You know, I can't even strongly dislike this because it was just so mind-numbingly boring.  This is the basic storyline of vol. 1 (possible wee spoilers)

Natasha takes a job.

Natasha finishes job.

Natasha goes home, tells the cat she isn't ready for that kind of relationship, and then takes another job.

[repeat until the author gets tired of this]

S.H.I.E.L.D. shows up and is like, "Yo, Black Widow, we pay pennies, but couldja help us out with this crazy ex-Russian monk with big guns?" and she's all, "Sure, why not, my life is boring anyway.  I have no friends, especially not that cat."

Fighting.

Fighting.

More fighting.

Totally anticlimactic Interview with a Villain

Natasha takes a job.


That is seriously the whole thing.  I probably drooled on the book at some point because I wanted a nap.  Natasha has no voice.  I mean, she says stuff, but she doesn't have a personality.  She's just ... there.  Evidently, this is supposed to be an "espionage" series, but Natasha constantly fails at that part and ends up being kicked through walls and stuff.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sure, I totally have a girl-crush on Scarlett Johansson, but she gives Black Widow sass.  And really awesome hair.

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